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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Shine, Not.

July 7, 2010 Leave a comment

I used to shine so bright now I’m watching all of it fade.

No matter how hard I try, I will always be the one disappointing you. I will always be the one who brings tears to your already pained eyes. I know that I failed, but does it ever cross your clouded and old-fashioned mind that I will succeed someday? No? ‘Cause you clearly do not have much faith in me.

Am I that bad? May I ask?

It won’t take long for you to notice that education is important to an individual, but it is not everything. Yes, I need it to fill my pathetic stomach that is always hungry in the near future. Yes, I need it so that I can get a decent job, decent pay – to take over your duty as a mother to my siblings. I know my responsibilities. I know that I have to bring the dough home sooner or later ’cause I don’t want to pain you with this burden anymore. I want you to enjoy whatever that’s left of your life. You have sacrificed enough since that bastard washed his hands off all of us in search of a fine life.  I’m indebted to you, for life.

But…

I hope you can somehow respect me as an individual and not judge me by the grades I achieved. Cut me some slack will you? I feel rotten as it is. You clearly overlook the fact that this hurts me much much more than it hurts you.

Please…


We should stop cutting each other’s throat. You know that I love you. Why must this be so difficult? Why must we argue as often as we breathe? Must we shake the grounds of this relationship this hard?

The course of true love never did run smooth.

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Permanent

April 18, 2010 Leave a comment

Things are a little different, or should I say very much different now.  It’s getting better, I think. 🙂

Sometimes, we really need someone to hold, to hug, to love. It pains any soul out there when they have to face all the downs alone. Humans will always be humans – weak, fragile and hopelessly dependent in a way or another.

Hearts are hurting, hear them crying.

Giving up is so easy, so tempting. Holding on can be such a pain. But, good things always come to those who wait don’t they? Why can’t we just hold on a little longer, bear all the stabs through our hearts just to feel that moment, even for a second, that moment of bliss, contentment… love?


Life’s a climb, but the view is great.

Part of Me Still Believes…

January 9, 2010 Leave a comment

Getting to know you is one of the most memorable moments of my life. You reminded me of someone I knew, really loved and care for. I just can’t help but to wonder why you are alike in many, many, many ways.

Old memories keep on creeping in. The same conversations, the same arguments, the same reactions from you. Those very same words, you once said.

The difference now is… It is not coming from you, but another who is just like you. Should I expect the same outcome, the same ending – all the heartaches, heartbreaks?

Crossroad.

I know that I’m still the same person. My flaws stick on me and I can’t seem to shake it off. That is why I’m afraid I’m gonna drive you away. Never wanted the same ending on repeat. I don’t wanna hurt you. Never.

I found someone to fill your shoes. But I don’t know why I’m holding back.

Let me go.

I don’t wanna dream about all the things that never were.

Let’s pretend that I’ve moved on.

Misses

January 3, 2010 Leave a comment

I’m missing the “First Day of School” spirit.

I wanna be a part of it. 😦

Growing Fat

January 2, 2010 Leave a comment

Long hols now. No job. Stay at home. Online. Watch TV. Calls. Texts. Irritate mummy. Eat. Get fat. Shit. Think. Reflect. Fall sick. Sleep. Recover.

I’m sooo bored already!

And it’s a vicious cycle! I need a job! I want to work to make myself feel a little bit more useful?

I feel like a bum.

I Decide

October 29, 2009 Leave a comment

Don’t think that you can tell me what to think
I’m the one who knows what’s good for me
And I’m stating my independence
Gonna take the road I’m gonna take
And I’m gonna make my own mistakes
It’s my life!


Don’t think you’re ever gonna hold me down
Couldn’t do it then, can’t do it now
I’m kicking down all defenses
Gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up, it’s my right!


I decide.


Period.

I Wanna Say It

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment

I wish I could have told you

The things I kept inside

But now I guess it’s just too late

So many things remind me of you

I hope that you can hear me

 

I never meant to start a war

You know I never wanna hurt you

Don’t even know what I’m fighting for

You know I’ll fight for you but

How can I fight for someone who isn’t even there?

 

I guess there are certain things in life that you badly wanna say, but it’s not right…not appropriate. And it pains you deep down cos you are dying to say it.

 

It’s like constipation?

Then I guess I need laxatives now.

 

want need to go to the gym!